I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
Randomize
