piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
Randomize
