I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
God, you're like boner-b-gone
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
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