I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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