You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
he shaved USA in his pubs
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
Randomize
