She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
Randomize
