Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
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