i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
Randomize
