I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
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