Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
