you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Randomize
