Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
It was a blind-side dick pic.
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
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