I will die if light touches me.
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
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