Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
Randomize