God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
Randomize
