You just made me feel so damn special
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Randomize
