apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
Randomize
