I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
