jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
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