i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
Randomize