you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize
