Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
Randomize
