Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
Randomize
