You got in a fight last night?
Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.
Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
My bed is full of blood and feathers
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
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