Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
Randomize
