I am going to give you the keys to my place
Then I'll give you the keys to my heart
Gag me
I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
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