you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
Randomize
