The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
this is an emotional support booty call
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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