I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Randomize