i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
Randomize
