I heard we made out
he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
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