Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
Randomize
