you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
I'm experimenting with sincerity
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
Randomize
