Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
Randomize