Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
Randomize
