Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
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