Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
