Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
Randomize
