do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
Randomize
