He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
I forgot wine drunk hurts
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
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