Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
Randomize
