What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
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