i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
Randomize
