I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
Randomize
