You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
Randomize
