Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
Randomize
