bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
Randomize
