: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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