no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
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