idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
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