We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
I got inside last night via doggy door
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
This can only be settled by a dance off.
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
Randomize
