is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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