Just fell off a train. Bad.
I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
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