So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
Randomize
