WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Randomize
