go do what you do best...puke behind churches
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
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