dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
Watching her eat just hurts me
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
Randomize
