I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
Randomize
