I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize
