before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
Randomize
