at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Randomize
