PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
Randomize
