So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
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