I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
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