God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
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