He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
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