After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
I stumbled in at 6am to find my cat in the window making a noise I've never heard her make. When I went to the window there was a goat outside staring at us.
Are you sure? Or did you just think there was a goat?
No there was a goat. I gave it a donut.
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Randomize
