did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
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